The Fantasy Vs. Reality of Book Release Day

I've Finished the Book!
Make sure the minions don't disturb me for a bit!
Who am I talking to?
And I have no minions!
*looks for some on Amazon*
*too expensive*

The book is finished. It's been rewritten EIGHTEEN times. It's gone through TEN edits after that. It's been formatted by the interior people, and endured another SEVEN tweaks.

The process took NINE MONTHS. It feels like giving birth for real. Now the book is ready to make its debut in the world. There it goes! My baby is heading out into the wide world at long last. Now it is time for glorious celebration. This day has been a dream for months. Some books take years. It takes a long time to birth a book!

Now is the time to relax. Plan a special lunch. Maybe have a party?

Only there can be no party. This book took nine months. Nobody even remembers me. Plus this house hasn't been cleaned in that time either. Also, that glance in the mirror that made me gasp out loud? That's not going to be fixed with expired mascara. If I believed in reincarnation, it might be faster to fix that way.

This writer is not fit for public consumption I'm afraid. After all the night writes, rewrites, edits, half-assed marketing attempts, and trying to fake having a real life (pretty sure nobody bought it), all I've got is a hot mess.

My Editor and Me
Reality Bites
That's why I usually write Fiction

No. There's more than a hot mess here. There is a BOOK! It felt like shoving boulders up a mountain with my head, but look at how beautifully it turned out!

We don't judge a book by its cover though, even if it fits the book perfectly. So here's a glimpse inside.

It was so worth it! Let's have another one! Hey, Editor! Come here a minute. I have an idea!