The Glitter Globe Does Disneyland

·         There is no sleeping late at a hotel near Disney, unless you want a maid or maintenance guy to walk in on your shower.

·         Apparently those double locks on the hotel door are not really maid or maintenance guy proof.

·         I wondered what that banging noise was, but between the cheerleader convention and the remodeling upstairs, I didn’t think much about it.

·         A naked wet “SERIOUSLY?” needs no translation.

·         Thirteen hours at Disneyland seemed like a brilliant idea. I forgot I might ever want to use my legs again.

·         If you slip in early via the monorail rather than Main Street USA, you’ll get up to forty minutes of quiet time and no line for Space Mountain.

·         A banana costs $1.99 at Disney. I once thought Target’s .25 was over the top.

·         It takes more nerve to ride “It’s a Small World” than “Space Mountain”. Double dog dare ya to ride it.

·         The Tiki Room song can remove all the above songs, and possibly a year of college.

·         It’s your lucky day if the Buzz Lightyear ride breaks down with you inside of it. It’s a ride where you get to shoot your ray gun at targets, and you can really rack up hundreds of thousands of points just sitting there. I’m like Supreme Commander of the Universe now.

·         If you’ve mastered the art of sleeping with your eyes open, there are couches downstairs in the Innoventions pavilion.

·         Part-time vegetarians shouldn’t eat Corn Dogs no matter how good they are at Disney. (See the red trailer at the end of Main Street, next to the Birthday Place. First Aid is right behind it.)

·         When was Captain EO filmed? I saw a mullet.

·         Indiana Jones just doesn’t get old. I wonder how many archaeology degrees that movie is responsible for? I opted for the much more lucrative English field.

·         You can make your own light saber in the Star Tours gift shop. You need one, I don’t know why, but you do.

·         Another go on Space Mountain is better than the fireworks. At least that is what you can tell yourself when you miss them to ride it again.

·         Why does Space Mountain not bother your vertigo, but the cross country flight does? Land Sickness is a real thing. I’m avoiding it by refusing to return home.