Dazzling Kathy



Does your bucket list include anything you don’t actually want to do?  I made a deal to put something on my bucket list. I promised to kiss a baby lamb in exchange for a free book. I’m cheap like that, but I’m big on follow through.  So last week I went stalking hiking around a monastery where monks raise sheep, skulking around the pastures and keeping an eye out for a cooperative looking bambino. Turned out it was a bit early for lambing season; the sheep were still wearing their winter coats. Those puppies are huge, with skinny little stick legs that look like they could snap and the whole sofa sized wooly beast might drop right to the ground at any moment. Not to mention that the fence is electric, and they’re guarded by both attack llamas and donkeys. Monks do not put up with lamb kissers in these parts.

There is no deadline for kissing that lamb, but I don’t like to leave things uncrossed on lists. Considered cheating, and looked for a white-chocolate lamb, I’d enjoy kissing that sweetie. So I hunted up and down the ‘Seasonal’ aisles at Super Walmart on Good Friday. The poor guy working the aisle seemed so crestfallen by my request. You almost need binoculars to see all the way down that candy aisle, the selection was mind-boggling, but no, this chick wants a white-chocolate lamb. They didn’t have any, and he even called in the cavalry to search. I witnessed things getting a little heated over the last box of purple peeps, so I opted for the safer and honorable path in my quest.

Back to the monastery I went, it’s been a week, I thought maybe the lambs were in. Besides I needed some peace after the holiday shopping expedition. I felt a bit creeper, checking out those ewes, like those fish that follow Mama Guppy around the bowl, you know?  There was a baby donkey, baby donkeys are rather large by the way, you don’t want no part of that. I hiked around the fields and ridges for hours. The rams are not a friendly looking bunch. They’re just waiting for me to try to jump that fence and plant a smooch on one of their offspring. The word on the hill is that those sweet baby lambs will start hatching around next week. I really hope that they are clean and fluffy, and that they smell a whole lot better than their parents, but a deal's a deal. Picked up a new chap-stick at Super Walmart, so I’m ready, and no worries Little Lambie, this won’t hurt a bit.  

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