The black and white of cold, hard reality is just waiting to pounce from everywhere these days – have you noticed that you can’t escape it even if you:
A) Don’t watch TV
B) Only read the comics in the Sunday Paper
C) Spend the bulk of your time in an alternate universe
There are obviously still cracks in your defenses and reality just keeps oozing in from all over – this is just one more reason why you should always keep some chocolate on hand for emergencies – I find that a good healthy (have you heard the claims that chocolate is healthy, as addicts we’ll buy into anything won’t we?) hit of ultra dark chocolate is like pulling the emergency parachute, you are safe! Now is this because you are now so hepped up at this point that you can no longer take in additional data? Who cares! Fact is it works. Reality is at bay, and you – my friend – are now in your Happy Place. Enjoy.
Now onto the important question, what is the BEST chocolate you’ve ever eaten? I want to know, because I am currently conducting important scientific research into this very question. Perhaps I’ve mentioned that it’s all about Dark Chocolate. Perhaps you see things differently, not everyone is enlightened, I respect your journey wherever on the path you may be. I need details here, what kind of M&Ms? What kind of Dark Chocolate? Okay, fine, just to prove I am an equal opportunity kind of chocoholic I will say it – what kind of milk chocolate do you like? (Is there a way to block those people?) We, by we I mean said researchers, need to know exact brands and what proof chocolate are we talking about? I prefer something over 86% proof, but I’ve been on the stuff for awhile. If you can give me a really good tip, and I mean something that will help The Glitter Globe stave off reality for another 40,000 words, I will share some of my chocolate with you. Now this is a good deal. REAL Dark Chocolate in exchange for information. Talk to me.
Chocolate comes from a cocoa bean and sugar cane. Plants are vegetables. Beans are good for you, or so I've heard.
ReplyDeleteThus, chocolate is a vegetable, and good for you. My logic is impeccable. Yes, this is your daughter. Who else has such an amazing voice of reason?
I'm sorry, but until you have lived in Europe long enough to eat real chocolate, you have no business conducting research into the brown wax you Americans eat in its place! Come on over...!
ReplyDeleteDaughter prefers milk chocolate *shudders* but there is always hope she shall wisen into dark in time. (Also chocolate is not just a vegetable, but dairy for you, my misguided lactose-intolerant Monken.)
ReplyDeleteAnd Elsie is getting all Patriotic on us. Granted there is plenty of brown wax over here - the land of the free and all - there is also Ghirardelli - which is so REAL that I've heard a rumor that Lindt purchased it. So there. (I am coming over though, so you prepare to prove your boast.)
*attempts to compile list but fails as she starts drooling profusely*
ReplyDelete*heads upstairs to swipe some of Dad's dark chocolate blueberry bark*
Elsie, we do get imports over here. I've personally eaten chocolate from several European countries. *starts drooling again*
Dark chocolate covered pomegranates. From Costco. Hands down the best combination eva!!!!! Gotta run! and GET ME SOME!!!!! NOW!!!!
ReplyDelete